I am grateful for some stability in the world. I am still big-boned and even the loss of bone calcium due to aging did not cause any weight loss. State Farm further comforted me by stating that for the fifth year running my home state of West Virginia tops all states as the place where a driver is most likely to collide with a deer. The odds improved to 1 in 53, better than the year before with 1 in 42 odds of hitting Bambi. No wonder your auto insurance rates went up because State Farm apparently has someone out there counting cars, deer, and their intersections. I may move to Hawaii since the odds there drop to 1 in 6,267. State Farm’s VP of Strategic Resources offers six suggestions to cut down on this problem – who knew there was such a job and they counted deer.
Ohio drivers still float along in the West Virginia passing lanes and the usual banter between the states remains:
What do you call the cab of a 1990 Ford Ranger in West Virginia?
A: The Bridal Suite.
From West Virginia:
What do you call three dirty teddy bears, a soggy corn dog, and a tractor that won’t start?
A: The Ohio State Fair.
What do you call three Kroger bags in West Virginia?
A: Matched luggage.
From West Virginia:
What is the difference between yogurt and a town in Virginia?
A: Yogurt has an active culture.
Source: R. Steelhammer, Charleston Gazette
Like so many post-WWII babies, time has moved faster than before. Whenever I am dissatisfied and want to go back to my youth, I just think of algebra which changes that thought. Fewer things now seem worth waiting in line. Why do New Yorkers say they wait “on line” and the lawyers there say they were “on trial”? Apparently as we get older, everything either dries up or leaks. Thank goodness I have developed good judgment from experience, but of course, a lot of that came from plain old bad judgment that got me to that very point. I have also learned there are two distinct theories to arguing with women. Neither works.
Being older and thus more comfortable, if not wiser, I think of the quote:
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”