Last month I got hung up on business speak. After that article
I realized the Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary (see, theofficelife.com)
is way more fun than any regular dictionary.
I could not resist some other business terms for your consideration such
The long number slides used and loved so much by managers.
Spends hour after hour on the computer.
Always has a terrible cold, but manages to make it to work to spread the virus on a regular basis.
Open the Kimono:
Reveal inside company information.
Sending a useless e-mail just to let boss know you were working late.
Preliminary comments of a speaker, after with attempts of lame humor.
Queen of the Pigs:
The best of the bad bunch in an organization.
The origin of ideas pulled out of one’s posterior: i.e., a rectal data base.
Early in the morning meeting.
Human resource people who hire and fire personnel.
Worker who seems busy, but always is in the same place.
Useless project taking lots of time.
Cubicle with a window.
What the Musk?:
Reaction to co-worker with overbearing cologne.
Doing nothing at all, as in Fred is zerotasking again.
I refer you to the Office Life site for more of the ridiculous, but regularly used, language and even signs. Now those folks have a sense of humor.
Before I zerotask out, I pass on from the internet the Five Rules for Men to Follow to Have a Happy Life alleged to be from some guy’s tombstone:
1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.