You are watching an old movie, even period pieces, and the characters break into lingo popular when the movie was made. Yes, that Robert E. Lee is “a swell guy”. The passage of time makes you look like an idiot when you revert to a phase from your earlier years like the 50ish lady who recently said “cool beans” to me in approval, or the city judge who called me “Cool Breeze”. Of course, words like “dude” can be used in so many ways it is almost like a universal phrase. I have often written of the corporate speak which is “way worser”, as they say where I am from. The 1990’s had the “home run deal”, “synergy” and the “mission driven” strategy with “deliverables”.
Stupid business terms abound (excuse me, but I get weary when these are used all over the place and then repeated to prove your worldliness):
• Deep dive
• Drill down
• Helicopter view
• Couch an idea
• On the same page
• Pain points
• Outside the box
• Trajectory of the project
• Ducks in a row
* Let’s go off-line
• Band width
• Silos
• Lean in
• Value added
• Take away
• Perception is reality
• Return on investment (aka Bang for the Buck)
• Getting granular
Now, who is to say that some of these business phrases cannot be more
fun*:
*Alpha Pup (lead new guy)
*Alpha Geek (head of IT)
*Nerd Rustling (stealing quality IT personnel)
*Al Desco (eating at your desk)
*Chairborne Infantry (company troops)
*Armchair General (lots of opinions, but no field experience)
*Assmosis (success from sucking up)
*Blamestorming (finding someone collectively to blame)
*Checked Eskimo (clearly so unqualified for job she must
have checked Eskimo on her job application)
*Deckfast (breakfast at the desk)
*Dope-ler Effect (stupid ideas sound better when they come
in waves at you)
*Flight Risk (employee likely to jump
ship)
*Her-assment (sexual harassment done by a female)
*Lombard (lots of money, but a real dumb ass)
*Lunch and Learn (way for management to get an extra hour out of you at lunch)
*Low Decision Latitude (inability to make any decisions because at the bottom of the corporate chain)
Oh, it would be so fun to have a swell time and go on. I am only
halfway through the list, but “I’ll loop you in later” so “nothing gets lost in the sauce”, or would you rather just “marinate” on this article until next month's follow-up?
*See, Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary at the OfficeLife.com
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