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IT IS JUST NOT SAFE WHERE I LIVE

11/3/2014

 


 

 

     I have commented before on the high number of deer to car encounters where I live.  The local paper reported recently that State Farm released their annual study showing my state as the leader in the entire nation for deer collisions for the eighth straight year.  I suppose this is a big cost item in the underwriting department at State Farm such that they talk about it at shareholder meetings.  “You have a 1 in 39 chance of hitting a deer in West Virginia.”  “Don’t drive there.  Take I-81 around the state and the national chances of hitting a deer are 1 in 169.”  I know it is a deer to driver count but I wonder if we have really dumb deer, or just a lustful deer population.  No one hits them on purpose, so there must be some good reason they are in your headlights.

     In any event, it is nice to be number one.  We recently were voted the fattest state, but I don’t count that.  We did tie for first with Maine and Montana for the best ranking in higher education for diverse programs and affordability.  We just need to get more natives to use it.

     I also was greatly encouraged to learn that money is worth way more in “Almost Heaven, West Virginia”, according to the Tax Foundation.  Because of prices lower than national averages, my home state had the sixth best purchasing power in the country.  The related value of $100.00 was $112.87 in West Virginia, clobbering New York at $86.66 and California at $88.57.  So before the left edge of the country falls into the ocean, consider moving to Almost Heaven.  If you are thin, that will help a bunch also.

     Since this is an alleged humor column, I should not be so philosophical and should mention the importance of September as the return of the Winter Blend.  It is not Starbucks, but rather the good version of gasoline for your car.  In May of each year the price goes up as they switch (retool is their word) to produce the lighter cleaner summer version with blending components that just cost more.  But in the fall, they put back the cheaper butane to make Old Nelly run good in the colder weather.  Why not a Hallmark Card Day for this?  Winter Blend Day is coming soon.  Don’t forget that beloved aunt and her Olds 98.

     By the way, did you know that CBS did a study of the most common computer passwords and in 2012 it was “Password.”  For a moment, I was worried about Chinese cyber attacks and then realized these folks deserved to be hacked.  I bet their locker combinations were 1, 2, 3 to open.  Random thoughts here for random people.

 

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    Having written and published an allegedly humorous book while travelling to lawyers' meetings, Steve was counseled by his friends to keep his day job. This site allows him to do both.

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