WHEN YOU GET OLDER,YOU HAVE SEEN A LOT OF FASHION

 
 
            Living in a rural area outside of a small town, my early fashion experience was limited to the husky section of the boys’ department at J.C. Penney’s.  It was not until Junior High that I even noticed trends like brightly-colored pants and tight “peg” bottoms.  I advanced to the need of a sport coat or a suit with narrow ties by high school and then college just exploded with bell bottoms, wide labels and wide ties.  Double knit fabric entered by Law School and I slowly saw what they are doing to us.
            A good suit and a decent pair of shoes can last a man a long time barring that pesky weight gain.  Apparently, purveyors of such items figured that out.  They cannot make money, unless they create new fashion trends.  If you are frugal like me, you can hang on and just wait them out, as wide ties again become narrow and skinny lapels become wide again over time.  Add to that the basic blue suit in all my growing sizes and you have a closet that the Mrs. regularly demands to be “good willed”.  I get the clean-out-your-closet talk once a month now.
            Period based movies featuring French powdered wigs to Zoot Suits really show how stupid fashion can be.  Flash forward to the present with short, tight arm-straining jackets and the tight pants you see everywhere.  In the name of fashion, these men look like they are wearing little brother Jimmy’s clothes.  Fashion be damned, non-cross fit body styles like mine demand that I reject this latest fashion trend.  I have split many inseams before, but it was not due to purposefully choosing tight cuts on clothes on the date of purchase.  It just happened as a force of nature.  I cannot wait to see TV personality Ryan Seacrist burst the seams of that little outfit on national TV.
            On another pressing fashion note, exactly what distance to a paper box can one walk in a robe before you actually start looking like a mental patient?  As another aside, my pharmacist again asked me the date of my birthday when I stopped to pick up my medicine.  I am pretty sure she is going to get me something this year.