There are days when I grumble about everything. As they say, a grumpy person of German descent is known as a Sour Kraut. It is like the days when the sand at the beach gets stuck in your underdrawers and there is no relief. Of course, on other days I sometimes just find humor in any of the daily reads. Writers for BuzzFeed had fun describing what one’s adult beverage of choice said about them and they got me laughing.
Some drink description examples from their June 2014 piece:
Whiskey sodas are for bar fights.
Tequila shots are what you do only after you are already so drunk you can no longer experience pain.
Scotch actually tastes better if you wear a monocle while drinking it.
Margaritas are for people who go “Woooo” at the same time.
Hennessey are uncle drinks.
Gin and Tonic is for old white men with too much money. You don’t have bar fights with them, you have bar disagreements.
Bloody Marys are for those who like getting wasted more than eating brunch.
Champagne is for people who are really good at online shopping.
Everclear grain alcohol is for when you just want to die.
Flaming drinks are for people who do not want to pay to have their eyebrows tweezed.
Martinis are for wives cheating on their boring finance world husbands with the pizza delivery guy.
Red Bull and Vodka are for people who I would not leave with my wallet or children.
See Bashutskyy and Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed for many more and even better descriptions. I am now afraid to order any drink now — hey, don’t judge me.
Switching topics like a woman seeking new shoes to match a purse or a guy at the 50-item salad bar, I observe that the University of Michigan Transportation Research Institute has now rated North Dakota, South Carolina and West Virginia as places with the highest odds of becoming a traffic fatality. Now, that is profiling, I do not care what you say.
They rate D.C. and Massachusetts as the lowest chance of a traffic fatality. Back up the truck! Since they used the number of road deaths by distance driven and the number relating to state population, doesn’t it seem odd that the high density Northeast Corridor would have fewer deaths than the thirteen (13) almost empty Robert C. Byrd Highways in West Virginia? I suspect the high number of deer strikes here might also skew the results. As Dad said, “Since most accidents occur within three (3) miles of home, we are going to move.”
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