Last month I got hung up on business speak. After that article
I realized the Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary (see, theofficelife.com)
is way more fun than any regular dictionary.
I could not resist some other business terms for your consideration such
as:
Management Porn:
The long number slides used and loved so much by managers.
Mouse Potato:
Spends hour after hour on the computer.
Mucus Trooper:
Always has a terrible cold, but manages to make it to work to spread the virus on a regular basis.
Open the Kimono:
Reveal inside company information.
O.T. Mail:
Sending a useless e-mail just to let boss know you were working late.
Pre-mumble:
Preliminary comments of a speaker, after with attempts of lame humor.
Queen of the Pigs:
The best of the bad bunch in an organization.
RDB:
The origin of ideas pulled out of one’s posterior: i.e., a rectal data base.
Rooster Call:
Early in the morning meeting.
Slave Trader:
Human resource people who hire and fire personnel.
Tap Dancer:
Worker who seems busy, but always is in the same place.
Time Pig:
Useless project taking lots of time.
Vubicle:
Cubicle with a window.
What the Musk?:
Reaction to co-worker with overbearing cologne.
Zerotasking:
Doing nothing at all, as in Fred is zerotasking again.
I refer you to the Office Life site for more of the ridiculous, but regularly used, language and even signs. Now those folks have a sense of humor.
Before I zerotask out, I pass on from the internet the Five Rules for Men to Follow to Have a Happy Life alleged to be from some guy’s tombstone:
1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
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