Lawyeringforlawyers
This can be deemed an advertisement in some jurisdictions.
  • Home
  • About Steve
  • Law Firm Blog
  • Humor Blog
  • Contact

VISIT THE HOKEY POKEY CLINIC –WHERE WE TURN THINGS AROUND

6/2/2014

 
     Well, Elvis is dead, and I am not feeling so good myself.  The big newspaper, the New York Times, reports that lawyers rank second on a list of most sleep-deprived occupations, just trailing home health aides and blowing way by doctors and paramedics.  A legal blog called Above the Law commented on the average seven hours a night listed for lawyers by asking:  “What the hell kind of lazy lawyer is getting seven entire hours of sleep every day?”  Did you know that beds in Shakespeare’s time had ropes under them which could be tightened?  Hence, “Goodnight, and sleep tight.”  A friend’s daughter uses the modern shorthand and refers to the English Bard as “Billy Shakes.”

     Just as I realize my sleeplessness is occupation related, I learn depressing news about the home twenty.  24/7 Wall Street which has nothing else to do it seems, reports that Americans are not happier than they were last year.  In fact, they were slightly more miserable.  How do you count that?  How does the U.N. report the number of chickens in each nation?  I wonder about the use of such stats, most of which are made up – at least by me.

     Well, this pseudoscience source says Hawaii remains in first place (Mai Tai’s perhaps make all happy) and my home state of West Virginia is last.  They claim we bottomed out in life expectancy, obesity, median household income, and low in well-being and diplomas.  It is no comfort that the close to us misery states were in the South (5 of the 10) with Ohio and Delaware following closely in the bottom tier.  Highest levels of well-being were either in the West or the Midwest.

     Whoever 24/7 is, they are entitled to their opinion and stats.  Mark Twain, supposedly quoting, but never proven, English Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, said:  “There are three kinds of lies — lies, damned lies, and statistics.”  We lawyers make our living by researching the law and finding our best version.  So, with research by Psychology Professor Joe Forgas of the University of New South Wales, I can argue there are down sides to being really happy.  The Washington Post reports that another psychologist, Edward Diener and others say happy people early in life earned less money than those less cheerful.  Happiness may not benefit your career and happys are not likely to get a better job or get more education.  Sad people it seems pay more attention to details and think in a more systematic manner, the story says.  Happy people are easier to deceive, so read on you happys.

     Well, cheer up, Guinness used to advertise that “Guinness is good for you”, implying medicinal value.  In Bill Shakes’ day, the ceramic cups had a whistle baked in so you could easily re-order in a loud bar and thus: “Wet your whistle.”  Likewise, beer came in either pints or quarts and when the customers got rowdy, the innkeeper often yelled: “Mind your P’s and Q’s.”  So, I may wet my whistle to get myself out of the misery I did not know I even had.  I do not care what you say, I am not moving to Cedar Rapids where everybody is happy, so there.

      A writer who grew up in my home town, stringing for Gallup, reports that West Virginia has the nation’s worst statistics in 10 of 12 categories in the Gallup Healthways ranking.  The local health director says:  “I think someone is sending us a message that our approach to health care hasn’t worked.”

     I am still feeling low and looking to “blame storm” for the cause and thus systematically paying attention to details.  I am thinking it was politics.  You see, the farm lobby was large back in the day and represented votes.  They got Congress to enact farm subsidies.  The government then had large quantities of farm goods which they gave away to schools.  The standard lunches used commodity butter, cheese, pinto beans, and peanut butter.  School lunches rotated these food stuffs and made everything out of them, including hats.  Kids got fat, farmers got paid, and Congress got votes.  I notice that these commodities are not the top choices in my Weight Watchers’ Wednesday classes.  Of course, I am just there to set an example for the others in the office.

 








 

 


 







Comments are closed.

    Author

    Having written and published an allegedly humorous book while travelling to lawyers' meetings, Steve was counseled by his friends to keep his day job. This site allows him to do both.

    Archives

    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    August 2012

    Categories

    All
    Alleged Humor
    Alleged Humor
    Business Terms
    Humor
    Irony
    Lawyer Defense Organizations
    Lawyer Defense Organizations
    Social Media
    Whiskey

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.